 | | CENTRAL OREGONIAN | | RON RAASCH |
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I swear you need to bring a lawyer along nowadays when fishing just to figure out the regulations. While you're at it, you might as well teach him to clean fish.
I can just picture the scene. You're out on a river and you introduce your small party to another angler. "Hi, I'm Bill, this is my fishin' buddy Tom, and this is our attorney Myron, who we keep on a retainer during the fishing season."
Before wetting your lines, you turn to Myron for guidance. He opens the fishing regulations and a few other law books and begins to read. "Gentlemen, this stretch of river is barbless hooks only, no fishing within 300 feet of the dam, catch and release only between Bridge 2381 and Road 430 from April 17 to August 4, except brook trout and smallmouth bass between 13 and 15 inches from June 23 to September 4 on partly cloudy days with temperatures over 69 degrees."
You bring out the map, calendar and thermometer and ask, "So, can we fish?"
Meanwhile back at the Fish and Game Commission meeting on proposed fishing regulations, typical conversations go something like this, "`Beat that one Ralph!', Oh yeah, how `bout this one.. That oughta keep anglers confused a while, hee, hee."
From the hallways, maniacal laughter can be heard behind the closed doors.
It seems like these guys know I'm going to fish a certain lake or river and make the regulations just for me. For example, they make a regulation that requires a fish to be at least 24 inches to keep. They know I can't manage to hook a fish over 23 inches. Then there are the slot limits. Fish between 12 and 16 inches must be released. Again, they know that's all I can catch when I'm hungry for a fish dinner. It wouldn't matter if fish had to be 3 inches long or 10 feet to keep, I'd catch a 2 1/2-incher or a 9-footer.
As with any so-called sport, fishing is not immune to mathematical statistics. The other day I was wondering what my lifetime average catch per hour while fishing would be. Then it scared me too much to think further. After that initial fear had passed, I sat down and recalled a few recent fishing trips and put some stats together.
I once fished six hours for lake trout and caught three. That's a respectable 0.5 fish per hour catch rate. Then again, on one steelhead trip I spent two days and only caught one fish. That might be something like 0.06 fish per hour. I better get out and do some more crappie fishing soon to bring my average up since I caught 60 in three hours once (20 fish per hour).
I may have to do some "Enron-ing" to adjust the numbers, perhaps including fish hooked but lost? What about fish seen near my lure? Fish my buddy caught? Projected number of fish in the lake? In the county?
I can't even imagine assigning this same statistical technique to hunting. What kind of animal per hour rating would it be if you hunted from sunup to sundown for 5 years and got one elk or deer? I don't think they make numbers that low.
Speaking of numbers, sometimes it's better to keep track of the number of fish caught by each person in the party and sometimes it's more advantageous to keep track of the total number of fish.
For example, if, in your party of three, one guy caught 12, another caught 10 and you got one, it's best to say, "We got 23." However, if you caught 21 and the others each caught one, then by all means go right ahead and say, "I got 21 and these jokers here only managed one apiece."
Of course you don't tell the party which method you're planning on using until the day is over. However, on some days, it's hard to avoid statements such as, "I caught a handful of 6-inch trout, and even threw some of the smaller ones back." At least you weren't skunked.
Oftentimes I end up catching the smallest fish, even when out after large fish such as sturgeon. One guide on the Columbia River told me that, throughout the year, he averages 2 1/2 fish a day. Right away, I knew I'd catch the 1/2 fish. And I did. Two guys caught 8 1/2 and 9 1/2 footers. I caught a 46-incher.
Most times other anglers' fish outweigh mine, even on the metric scale. Sometimes I wish people would just forget about statistics and overlook such trivial details as length and weight.
Some fishing statistics seem more like you're listening to a baseball game. He's 10 for 10 using Wooly Buggers with water temps between 46 and 62 in flows of 100 cfs or more on partly cloudy days.
One time you want to outfish others is on opening day. You always want to catch the first, biggest or most fish when others are watching. One way to do this is by engaging in a little domestic spying. I don't mean wire tapping; I simply mean looking at what the other guy is using and copy him.
Always remember to hide your lures when another angler is nearby. Sometimes I'll have a rod out and look like I'm minding my own business, even doing a little birdwatching, when in reality the binoculars are focusing on other angler's rods and tackle boxes. "Yep, looks like he's using an 8-inch black PowerWorm with a couple of ounces of lead. Now, he's putting on some scent - Smelly Jelly, but can't tell what flavor. He cast about three feet off the bank, gives it a little twitch and starts reeling slowly."
Of course these spying techniques only work if the other anglers are catching fish. Some have beaten this technique by using a magician's slight of hand. They'll grab all kinds of fancy lures and take a few casts with them then point up to the sky or to the other side of the lake and of course the spyer will train the binocs that way. Then he quickly pulls out his secret weapon - a can of worms.
Well, I'm off to the river. Just need to grab my gear and my lawyer.
Scott Staats is a freelance outdoors writer. His column can be read every Tuesday in the Central Oregonian. He can be reached at: falcon@crestviewcable.com |
