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| The Scorpion King review by Liesl Schuepbach |
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 | | | The Scorpion King opened in theatres April 19 |
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Grade: B -
If you are going to see the movie The Scorpion King do not make the same mistake I did. Don't anticipate that this will be a really fantastic movie.
I was honestly looking forward to the opening of The Scorpion King, in fact I even asked Dave to take a break from his strenuous movie critique column so that I could go see the movie for a change.
Unfortunately, I was disappointed _ perhaps because I had envisioned The Scorpion King to be a successor to The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed.
On one hand, I did like how the ancient Egyptian myths and legends tied into scenes of action and adventure. This effect created both a captivating and entertaining movie. On the other hand, The Scorpion King was a lifeless flick, full of less-than-graphic, dull, pointless violence.
The onset of the movie came without introduction or any form of attention grabber (for the first five minutes of the movie I thought previews were still playing). And then finally that baritone voice sweeping across the sand says, "Thousands of years before the pyramids" (a long, long time ago is a galaxy far, far away, yadda-yadda).
The bulging and well sun-tanned frame of The Rock enters the battle scene with a high-powered bow and arrow and commands a series of threats to his nomadic nemesis in a perfectly modern language of slanged English. Quite an odd change from the subtitles of the The Mummy Returns.
Mathayus (The Rock) portrays an Arkadian warrior and assassin, "trained for generations in the deadly art", (and raised with a Californian accent). Aided by the visions of a sorceress, a bloodthirsty ruler named Memnon (Steven Brand) has spread his evil reign across the desert by conquering the nomadic peoples. Mathayus is hired by the surviving tribes to kill Memnon's sorceress and end the evil reign of Memnon himself.
It turns out that the sorceress (Kelly Hu) is a busty woman with less than modest ancient attire. It would displease most of the teenage guys in the theater if Mathayus murdered the sorceress. So, as an alternative to death by the high powered bow and arrow, Mathayus and the sorceress mount a snowy-white camel and lope off for a romp in the sand. Memnon is ticked off. Mathayus is turned on. The two clash in a brawl. One man wins the heavyweight title of Scorpion King. And, in a nutshell they all lived happily ever after. The End.
Though I am shady over how The Scorpion King transformed from the hero to the bad guy in The Mummy Returns, perhaps director Chuck Russel will make another movie to explain this gap. But let's hope not.
The Scorpion King lacked any form of intelligence or ancient Egyptian charm. But The Rock with his athletic physique is a crowd pleasing action hero with the awe-inspiring ability to keep a straight face throughout this entire goofy movie.
****Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and some sensuality |
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