While I type these words, 20 gnomes of various shapes and sizes are staring at me, supervising my every move in the office. They start at one end of my corner desk and wrap around to the opposite corner, giving my workspace a bit of a whimsical flair.
I suspect a few years down the road that the gnome count might double – and frankly that is a conservative estimate. The folks who share responsibility in my growing gnome community show no signs of slowing down.
Like many of life’s oddities, it all started innocently enough. I’m not sure how many years ago it was, but I remember that my children were very young – they could walk and talk but had not yet accumulated enough life experience to know what their father would want for his birthday, or for Father’s Day or for Christmas.
But regardless, their mother took them shopping anyway and let them pick whatever they thought I would like. So that is how I found myself unwrapping my first gnome. To say the gift came out of left field is an understatement – no gnomes could be found in our house at that point, nor anywhere else in our lives. We were a no-gnome zone at the time. Why my daughter chose it I will never know – I don’t think she remembers why.
My wife offered a giggle and a shrug as I stared at the cone-shaped figurine, clueless what to do with it next. But it was a gift from my child and by God, it was going to get treated with proper reverence and appreciation. And so, it joined the other crude drawings and little tokens of affection that I keep in my workspace to remind me of home.
Little did I know a seed was planted. I can’t recall which occasion resulted in the first gnome gift, but the next time my little girl was given an opportunity to shop for Daddy, I found myself unwrapping yet another gnome. It was truly impressive memory skills for such a young tike. Well, there was no reason for the gnome to spend its hours alone, so off to my office it went for proper presentation.
You have no doubt figured out that this odd little trend continued and somewhere along the way, her awareness grew, and she started searching for new gnomes with which to delight me. And as the goofy gifts accumulated, I began to expect it. It was our thing.
But I had no idea that others might get in on the act. I guess I should have expected it. A half-dozen bearded figurines with cone-shaped headgear is hard to miss. I’m not sure who did it first, but a couple years back, I unwrapped a modest Christmas package from a co-worker, finding a gnome inside. I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or concerned – I could see where this trend might lead, and there’s only so much desk space available.
Of course, a couple more co-worker gifts followed, and my daughter is now old enough that there is no way she’s going to let a gift-giving opportunity pass without adding to my collection.
Simple math tells me I will need to install a shelf at some point, a gnome home if you will. I figure I am due for a minimum of three gifts every year – birthday, Father’s Day and Christmas. That’s at least three gnomes on an annual basis and with co-workers jumping on the bandwagon, this could get out of control in a real hurry. Whatever day I decide to step away from the newspaper gig, I might need to rent a moving truck just to haul them all away.
But that’s OK. So what if I have no desk space? Who cares if I can’t look anywhere in the office without the beady eyes of a bearded figurine staring back at me? Gifts should be treasured and displayed with pride. I will love them…gnome matter what.
